Do you know Victoria's Secret? Cuz, I'm pretty sure I don't

So Utrik is a very beautiful island.  Gorgeous blue waters (usually filled with an intense amount of bacteria), beautiful sandy beaches (watch your step on the giant rusty bicycle that litters the ground), and the incredible jungle (look out for the chicken/pig/human shit that you are about to step in), but there was one thing there that wasn't beautiful - the fashion.  Its like what Heidi Klum says, "In fashion, one day, you're in, the next, you're out."  Well the women here were never in, so then therefore they could never be out.  It was just bad all around.

So with the men's fashion, it was very typical American.  No grass shirts, and coconut bras.  Shorts and a t-shirt.  Usually the shorts/pants would be labelled "urban" or "city," and they were rather baggy.  Hair styles were extremely different from man to man.  Some had long hair, some had no hair, some had short hair, some had ...well... hair.

And now we are getting to the feature presentation of post tonight - the women's fashion.  These dresses (there were two different types) were the largest, most shapeless, tent like quality, blots of fabric that I have ever tried on.  Holy cow, I had no shape!  I was a giant square.  At times it felt disappointing  because I had no shape, but then I felt I had no unwanted, lingering eyes staring at me.  It was a blessing and not a blessing at the same time.  So as I mentioned before, there are two different types of women's fashion on Utrik - the guam, and the mu-mu.  A guam is what I considered to be the sweat pants of the Marshall Islands.  A guam is a very laid back piece of very colorful cloth.  The cloth is stretchy and has many different uses.  My favorite was when I wanted to clean my shower water from the well.  I would literally just pour from the well, through the guam, and into the bucket - and bam* the water is clean.  I love guams!!

Such a very colorful, large blob of fabric!

Please note that the other girl is also wearing a guam!  They come in many different shapes , but its pretty much just all one size - tent.

Mary Helen, myself and Kasey all looking stunning in our new guams!

Now the other fashion outfit the women would wear were mu-mu's.  A mu-mu has the same structure as a guam - large and tent like.  However, mu-mu's are made out of a non-breathable material.  Therefore, they are incredibly hot - as in temperature.  Geez!  And they don't stretch.  Now I was taller than almost everyone, and it was an unwritten rule that the mu-mu's and guams must go to your knees.  Well, it was so hard to find that.  And with the mu-mu's, they were just plain uncomfortable.  Oh, and mu-mu's were extremely formal and fancy (meaning I only wore them for church.  Every once in a while, I would wear them to school, but I never liked it.  So I would wear a t-shirt and a shirt.)

Looking good ladies!

Utrik's Top Model!

The beautiful girls on Ebon Atoll, Katie and Steph, in their matching mu'mus!  Work it hunny!!

And the best part was when I got back to the States - everyone had their knees showing!!!  Holy cow - I almost had a near heart attack!  On the plus side though, guams are an excellant cover up at the beach.  And plus it was rather fun to embarrass my family with the Igor the Tent Makers swim wear!

Crossed one endangered animal off my "Let's Eat It" list

So while in the Marshall Islands and on Utrik, I have had my fair share of unusual things to eat.  The list is rather odd, and I'm pretty sure I will never be able to repeat any of the items on it (and I'm not quite sure I want to).  So I already posted about muk-a-muk (see situational starvation), and I'm pretty sure I have eaten Dory and Nemo (both taste pretty good).  And I've had my fair share of coconuts.  But on island, the main thing I remember eating most of the time is pancakes!  So during the course of a week, a normal human being eats about 21 meals (3 meals a day x 7 days in one week - in case you need evidence of my math skills), and of those 21 meals, I'm pretty sure pancakes made up about 15 or 16 of those meals.  Yep, I never will eat another pancake again for the rest of my life.  Pancakes are just tasteless dough.  (Unless Jack Johnson will make me banana pancakes and sing me his song at the same time, then I think I would be obligated to eat another pancake).

So while we are eating pancakes, there are some things you can put on the pancake.  My personal favorite is when my parents would send me peanut butter (holy cow - I just want to thank you so much for all the care packages, and because of those, I have learned how to efficiently and effectively eat an entire bag of M&Ms in one day).  So peanut butter and pancakes are very tasty.  But before you know it, the jar of peanut butter is gone in one day (sometimes 2 or 3 if we managed to stretch it out by not eating or making pancakes).  So what makes a good substitute?  MAYONNAISE!!!  Yes that's right, white lard/fat/chemicals that often is added to sandwiches to a slightly better taste.  So now pancakes and mayonnaise taste good.  "But wait," you ask yourself as you are reading this, "doesn't mayonnaise need to be refrigerated? Didn't I learn in my middle school Home Economics class that if mayonnaise isn't refrigerated (or if I am going on a picnic and I made potato salad and left it out the whole night) then therefore everyone is going to get food poisoning?"

NO!!!  I ate that unrefrigerated mayonnaise all the time and did not get sick.  So therefore I am going to assume that all health food exports are liars and don't know what they are talking about.

On the plus side, I discovered how to make a pancake taco.  Take a pancake, add some rice in the center (to be more authentic, have the rice be left over rice from the night before) and then add some mayonnaise.  If you have fish or spam, please add it, otherwise the taco will be okay without it.  And Enjoy!  Its the closest thing to a taco I could come up with...

And for a random fact - dog tastes good.  Actually, very good.  I would totally eat that again.

And now for the reference to the title of this particular blog - what endangered animal did I eat?  Sea turtle!  And I have to say, it is such a weird taste.  It has the taste of fish, but the consistency of something I don't know how to describe.  It was incredibly chewy - like the type of chewy where you chew, and chew, and chew, but what is in your mouth hasn't changed shaped and you are not sure if you can swallow or not.  Yep - its exactly like that.  And now sea turtle isn't on my list of favorite foods.

But you can enjoy the pictures of some people preparing a sea turtle (a rather large one).